The Principia Discordia

* Fourth Edition Introduction

* Fifth Edition Introduction

* Hypertext Edition Introduction

A jug of wine,

A leg of lamb

And thou!

Beside me,

Whistling in

the darkness.

Be Ye Not Lost Among Precepts of Order...

- The Book of Uterus 1;5

Some excerpts from an interview with Malaclypse the Younger by THE GREATER METROPOLITAN YORBA LINDA HERALD-NEWS-SUN-TRIBUNE-JOURNAL-DISPATCH-POST AND SAN FRANCISCO DISCORDIAN SOCIETY CABAL BULLETIN AND INTERGALACTIC REPORT & POPE POOP.

GREATER POOP: Are you really serious or what?

MAL-2: Sometimes I take humor seriously. Sometimes I take seriousness humorously. Either way it is irrelevant.

GP: Maybe you are just crazy.

M2: Indeed! But do not reject these teaching as false because I am crazy. The reason that I am crazy is because they are true.

GP: Is Eris true?

M2: Everything is true.

GP: Even false things?

M2: Even false things are true.

GP: How can that be?

M2: I don't know man, I didn't do it.

GP: Why do you deal with so many negatives?

M2: To dissolve them.

GP: Will you develop that point?

M2: No.

GP: Is there an essential meaning behind POEE?

M2: There is a Zen Story about a student who asked a Master to explain the meaning of Buddhism. The Master's reply was "Three pounds of flax."

GP: Is that the answer to my question?

M2: No, of course not. That is just illustrative. The answer to your question is FIVE TONS OF FLAX!

Principia Discordia

or

How I Found Goddess & What I Did To Her

When I found Her

being a Beginning Introduction to

The Erisian Mysterees

Which is Most Interesting

-><-

as Divinely Revealed to

My High Reverence MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, KSC

Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold

and HIGH PRIEST of

THE PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC (POEE)

HAIL ERIS! -><- KALLISTI -><- ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!

Dedicated to The Prettiest One

The Upstart of one hand clapping

- JOSHUA NORTON CABAL -

Surrealists, Harlequinists, Absurdists and Zonked Artists Melee

POEE

is one manifestation of

THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY

about which

you will learn more

and understand

less

We

are a tribe

of philosophers, theologians,

magicians, scientists,

artists, clowns,

and similar maniacs

who are intrigued

with

ERIS

GODDESS OF CONFUSION

and with

Her

Doings

I Tell You: One must

still have chaos in one

to give birth to a

dancing star!

-Nietzsche

THE FIVE COMMANDMENTS (THE PENTABARF)

The PENTABARF was discovered by the hermit Apostle Zarathud in the Fifth Year of The Caterpillar. He found them carved in gilded stone, while building a sun deck for his cave, but their import was lost for they were written in a mysterious cypher. However, after 10 weeks & 11 hours of intensive scrutiny he discerned that the message could be read by standing on his head and viewing it upside down.

KNOW YE THIS O MAN OF FAITH!

I - There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm.

II - A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System.

III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).

IV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.

V - A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing what he reads.

IT IS SO WRITTEN! SO BE IT. HAIL DISCORDIA! PROSECUTORS WILL BE TRANSGRESSICUTED.

Test Question from Topanga Cabal The Twelve Famous Buddha Minds School: If they are our brothers, how come we can't eat them?

A ZEN STORY

by Camden Benares, The Count of Five, Headmaster, Camp Meeker Cabal

A serious young man found the conflicts of mid 20th Century America

confusing. He went to many people seeking a way of resolving within himself

the discords that troubled him, but he remained troubled.

One night in a

coffee house, a self-ordained Zen Master said to him, "go to the dilapidated

mansion you will find at this address which I have written down for you. Do